Not so Soft

Although I've never been to the Grand Canyon in Arizona, I have been to Waiamea Canyon in Hawaii, often billed as the Grand Canyon of the Pacific.  Similar to the Grand Canyon, it is awe inspiring; beautiful, with amazing deep colors and impossible depths.  It is a terrific example of Mother Nature smoothing out the rough edges of the world as time flows by. 

I sometimes wonder if it's just a cruel joke that she didn't do the same to us - or to me, anyway.  Oh, I'm not talking about the transition of nice baby-butt smooth skin to the wrinkles and imperfections we develop physically over time; those are often evidence of a life well lived, and my laugh lines and gray hair are well earned, thankyouverymuch.  But that's not really where I'm going with this. 

I sort of feel like my edges get harsher as time goes on, not smoother.  My cynicism gets a bit deeper and harder to reign in, and the words that used to describe me don't cut it anymore.  I lose my patience faster than I used to, and I don't give the benefit of the doubt anywhere nearly as much as I should.  It's harder to find gentleness, and I occasionally forget that I have the ability to use tact, let alone actually use it as much as I should.

I hadn't realized how uncomfortable some simple words and/or concepts make me until I read several of them together in a book excerpt the other day.  The sentence I read used all of the following words:  creative, touch-feely, grace, gratitude, love, creativity, and authenticity, among others (yes, it was one hell of a sentence).  I found myself recoiling almost viscerally, because most of those words are not part of my daily vocabulary.  Part of it is my job - law suits don't typically inspire any sort of touchy-feely emotions; they are mostly concerned with concrete terms and facts that are either known or not.  After a while, that kind of thinking becomes a habit.  But that doesn't mean that those concepts are something I should ignore in my personal life. 

The terms above and other similar words, when taken individually, don't bother me; most of them are things I would like more of in my life.  But taken together all at once, they kind of gave me the willies.  Not sure what that says about me, but I'd say it's pretty clear evidence that Mother Nature's erosional ways do not affect me the same as they affect a limestone canyon.  Or maybe it's exactly the same, only I'm looking at it wrong.  Perhaps she wears away only the softness and leaves behind the harsher traits.  If that's the case, I'm probably screwed.

Turbulent Reentry

I've been working on a case for several months that was set for arbitration starting today.  The nature of my particular job is that I work from LR when I can, but when things heat up before trial or before an arbitration, I need to be in the office most of the time.  Hence, since January 2nd, I've been living in Houston, coming home on the weekends if possible. 

An arbitration, also known as an alternative method of dispute resolution, is supposed to be cheaper and faster than going through a full blown trial.  Usually the two disputing parties will choose an arbitrator (or a panel of arbitrators) that have some expertise in the area of dispute, and will present their case to the arbitrator.  There is no jury, and the time frames are usually much shorter.  In terms of the preparation leading up to the arbitration, however, it is about the same.  Your client  will still be stating his or her case, with perhaps a significant amount of money on the line, and the decision will be binding.  For this reason, you want to present your case the best way possible and be as prepared as you possibly can be.

Early last week, there were some rumblings about settlement, but they faded pretty quickly and everyone assumed it was off the table.  I left the office at around 6pm on Friday night, knowing we'd be meeting back up there around 10:00 Saturday morning for a full day's work.  Sunday would be much the same, and Monday through Friday would be the madness that is a trail.  These are the times you just hunker down, plow through it, and hold your breath  until everything is over and the dust settles.

I got into the office on Saturday morning, and learned almost immediately that settlement was not only back on the table, it was now almost a near certainty.  Go figure.  It's a strange situation to be in - until the agreement is finalized and signed, it's not a done deal; many settlements have fallen apart even after they appeared to be definite.  So for that reason, you don't stop working the case until everything is inked.  We basically spent all day Saturday trying to intensely prepare for the arbitration that likely wasn't going to happen, even as the settlement agreement was being negotiated.  Saturday evening, everything was finally inked and the team beat a hasty exit to get some rest and recover from the craziness that has been January.

I wasn't expected back in LR until this coming Friday, and since I drove, there was no messing with flights or anything to get back home.  The deal was inked too late on Saturday to drive home, so I stayed Saturday night with my friend L in town.  We watched a movie (True Grit, the original one), cooked dinner, drank Scotch, and generally just relaxed from the week.  Sunday morning I woke up well before my alarm went off, grabbed my things and hit the road. 

See, I didn't tell anyone at home that the case settled - I had this grand plan that I'd show up at the house Sunday afternoon out of the blue and surprise the hell out of everyone.  It didn't quite work out as I planned.

I did manage to shock my kiddos.  J usually plays tennis on Sunday afternoons, so the kiddos were  at my parents house (I let my mom in on  the surprise).  Of course, the first question was "did you bring my present?" and the second was "Where's your Ipad?", but I guess I can let that go.  They are 6 and 4, after all! 

I rounded them up and we headed towards the house.  I was thinking that I could get some things around the house picked up, maybe there was time to actually cook a decent dinner (I really enjoy cooking when I have the time), and wouldn't J be totally thrilled when he got back from tennis and figured out that he was no longer a single dad for the week?  Yeah...somehow my surprises never go quite the way I plan. 

We drive  up to the house, and J is in the driveway.  With a shovel.  Next to a huge mound of dirt.  And an exposed water meter.  With evidence of a large amount of water draining into the gutter.  NOT COOL.  I'm not sure what it is about us (or this house) that attracts plumbing issues, but this was a pretty good one.  Apparently the PVC pipe that connects our house's water to the city's water pipe had snapped, and had gone unnoticed for a couple of hours.  I'm a bit concerned about the next water bill...

So yeah, J was in the midst of dealing with that and wasn't particularly excited about anything at that point.  Even me coming home.  Maybe if I'd shown up in a plumber's truck it would've gone better...

Saturday

It's another pop tart & diet coke kinda morning.  I so love working on Saturdays...

Saga of the Frog

A cautionary tale of what happens when you take your frog to work and she doesn't behave...

Reading Madness

J gave me one of my birthday presents before I left town this past weekend.  On Saturday night, he handed me a very heavy box with the return address from Barnes and Nobles.  YAY!

So I cracked open the box among the excited chattering of the kiddos, and the box eventually revealed a bunch of exciting bubble wrap, aaaand...

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes. 

J and I both love the comic strip, and we probably have a few random collections scattered around the house.  However, these are 400+ page complete tomes, with three comic strips on each page.  Total awesomeness.  The absolute best part of this gift wasn't the actual books, though, even though I have great memories of spending long afternoons working my way through various collections. 

The best part was that B immediately grabbed one of the books, snuggled up with me on the couch, and we started working our way through the early comic strips.  That boy cackled for every strip we read, regardless of whether he understood it or not.  He especially liked the idea of Calvin ordering delivery pizza after being sent to his room for disparaging dinner.  Hmmm, I wonder if I should be offended by that..

I've been looking for something to help spark his interest in reading.  He regards it as a necessary evil, something that is harder than he wants it to be, and I don't think he's yet figured out how much magic a book can create.  Maybe this will help do the trick, and at least get him interested?  If not that, I might have to resort to the farting dog.  After all, there isn't much that is funnier to a six year old boy than that, right?

Another year...

Well, even if I'm not there, it's nice to know I'm missed.  This excellent birthday surprise showed up in my office an hour ago.  Thanks babe, looking forward to seeing you soon...

Adventures

J had to work on Sunday morning, followed by a tennis match in the afternoon, so the kiddos and I were on our own for most of the day.  We had been cooped up in the house for a day or so with the cold, nasty weather, and I figured we could all use some exercise.  So I suggested that maybe we go for a walk. 

Crickets.  Then loud boos.

Yeah.  That went over great. 

So I thought about it for a few minutes, and came up with the idea that maybe instead of a walk, we should go for an adventure. 

Bingo!  The kiddos' ears perked up, and I suggested that they should pack backpacks with compasses, binoculars, maps, snacks and juice, and Nerf guns.  You know, to shoot at the squirrels and deer we might see.  I had to reassure the girl that we would not, in fact, hurt any of the animals we might shoot (Does the nerf gun hurt you when you get shot?  Then do you think it would hurt a squirrel?).  I neglected to mention the fact that the chances of us actually seeing any animal whatsoever was pretty slim, considering the noise level my kiddos generate... 

Anyway.

We packed backpacks, bags, froggie, and snacks, called some friends to see if they wanted to come, and headed out for our adventure.  It was colder than I expected, but the idea that we were going on an adventure - with snacks! and juice boxes! - was apparently enough to convince the kiddos to play in the great outdoors for a little while. 

Our friends met us at the lake with their little boy, and we trooped all over the trail system that is out there, keeping a sharp lookout for deer and squirrels.  We didn't see any deer, but we did have several Nerf wars while on our big adventure. 

After we finished, we all trooped back to our house for hot chocolate and brownies and some much needed heat (it was COLD out there), and the kiddos continued with their original plan for the day before I so rudely interrupted - demolishing the house.  Oh well.  It was worth it.  

On the Bright Side...

So for whatever reason, I've been attracting migraine headaches lately.  I'm not sure why, I usually don't get them.  But I managed to find one on Saturday night, and it's been plaguing me ever since.  And before you ask, no, there was no red wine involved!

After I got into Houston this morning, I gave it what I considered a triple whammy - food (a granola bar), caffeine (nearly 2 cups of coffee) and two Alleve, all in the span of about 10 minutes.  If anything, the headache doubled its efforts.  Not cool.

For lunch, I decided to continue down the "kill it with food" path, and got the chicken fried chicken lunch special from the restaurant in the basement of my building.  Lots of gravy, ranch dressing, and generally bad-for-you food.  10 minutes after lunch?  I'm finally beginning to feel human again.  It's not gone yet, but it feels better than it has in 24 hours.  Of note:  sometimes there IS a good excuse for chicken fried chicken...

Yawn

6:35 is insanely early for a flight. Getting up before the time starts with the number 5 seriously sucks.

The Dark Side of the Force

Ahhh, Sunday.  It's been a good weekend so far, although I'm not sure yet what today holds...  Yesterday we did some house chores, and then I got to play a couple hours of tennis - hooray!  Of course, I sorta HURT today but that's the price to pay for not exercising more lately.  The kiddos had a birthday party in the afternoon that I arrived at late (after tennis), then we did the dinner thing and watched Return of the Jedi. 

I'm not sure if all 6 year old boys are into Star Wars, but mine is an absolute freak about it right now.  He's gotten more lego sets than should be legally allowed (ahem, that's not entirely his fault - J, I'm looking at you), and a Star Wars reference book that I think he reviews every night before going to sleep.  He had watched the original Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, but until last night, he hadn't seen Return of the Jedi.  So we fixed a couple batches of popcorn, settled in with a bunch of blankets, turned out the lights and let it roll.  To say he loved it would be an understatement.  When he stopped asking questions long enough to watch the screen (which wasn't very often), he was enthralled.

One of B's constant questions and/or comments was whether this person or that person was a good or bad guy.  As we answered his questions, it struck me how simplistically the good v. evil battle was portrayed.  For the movie, and for B's age, it's a very simple thing - you are either good, or you are evil.  There is no in between, there is no gray area.  And yes, I know the movie is not supposed to be a great lesson in morality or a nuanced exploration of human nature, but it was still so very black and white.  If you were evil, you were evil, and that justified a lot of behavior that might otherwise be condemned. 

When you watch a lot of kiddo movies, the good v. evil conflict is typically portrayed very starkly - there isn't a lot of in between.  Swiper the Fox is bad (although he can be rehabilitated), Dora is good.  Transformers have "good guys" and "bad guys."  It's just very black and white, and while that may be appropriate for a 3 year old, I think many kids a year or two older are sophisticated enough to start understanding that it's not all that simple.  For that matter, most adults should be sophisticated enough to realize that, too, although I'm not taking that for granted.  I think the current political environment demonstrates otherwise, but that's another topic.

I'm just pondering how to start introducing more sophisticated concepts like this one to my kiddos.  Those are not easy conversations, but I can see how the opportunities for these discussions will slip by if I don't pay attention.  I need to refocus on my parenting philosophy and make sure I'm doing the things I want to do.  I think that's one of the biggest frustrations about traveling - the conversations I'm not having.  Of course, that assumes that my kiddos actually listen when we have discussions - which is probably the biggest assumption of them all!