Recap

Really, what a fantastic birthday weekend. Nothing too crazy Thursday night, which was fine. It was a school night, after all. But I have to say, J did FANTASTIC on the gift department. The kiddos got me Uno Attack, and J got me an electric throw. Seriously, I have been unable to stay warm this winter (see also: reluctance to be anywhere but under my electric blanket at night). Now, I don't have to go to bed at 8:30 when the kids go - I can just take the blanket with me wherever I go. Yumminess.

Friday night, we had dinner out with the fam, including my parents. J surprised me with a cake from our favorite cake maker, and it was - of course - delicious. We then proceeded to enjoy a night out with some friends. I drank too much whiskey and played some horrendous dart games. Note to self: you have to PRACTICE to hit that which you aim for, all whiskey aside.

Saturday, after recovery from Friday night, we trekked up to Jonesboro to have the world's best chicken fried steak and gravy, along with homemade mocha chocolate cheesecake that was incredible. Sunday, it probably wasn't a coincidence that I ran over 9 miles...

And the 9 miles on Sunday? Those were amazing. It was a beautiful day, perfect weather, and I remembered how much I enjoy doing longer runs. I zoned out to some Amos Lee - much more mellow than most of my running music - and just enjoyed the run and the day. I felt inspired enough to still consider running the full marathon in a month or so. It's possible...probably not very smart, but I'm leaning towards giving it a go. Guess we'll find out.

75

Yesterday I was in a meeting where the process of aging was being discussed. One of the crew there made the comment that he felt anything after 75 was gravy. He will consider it a life well lived once he hits 75, and anything beyond that is just bonus goodness.

Today puts me in the realm of being around halfway to that 'magical number'.

I've heard it said that people come into your life for a reason, that things happen 'for a reason.' I'm not sure I buy the whole "for a reason" thing, but I do know that the people in my life can pass on through quickly or they can pull up a chair and stick around for awhile.

I've been very fortunate to have a lot of folks stick around a long time, and who I am today reflects those relationships.

The last few days, I've felt a lot of deep satisfaction at my life and where I am. Which, for various reasons, makes me think of a friend of mine whose focus in life was often how to best keep himself uncomfortable. I learned a lot of things from him, but one of the more important things was not to be afraid of being uncomfortable in life. When you are uncomfortable, you learn, you think differently, you stretch yourself, and you grow. When you aren't afraid to think outside the box, different from the crowd, question the CW - that's when you figure out what you really think, and what you really want out of life.

There's no way I'd start my 38th year with this kind of peace if I hadn't learned how to do that, and I will always be grateful for it.

Playing with Power Tools, Laundry Edition

I'm almost embarrassed to admit how totally thrilled I am with how this little project turned out. I built this one sometime before Christmas, and it honestly has made my bathroom about 100% more habitable than it was before.

We have 4 people in and out of our bathroom every single day. Basically all showers are taken in there, most teeth are brushed, and lots of clothes are changed in there. Yes, the kids have a bathroom upstairs near their room. Yes, it sometimes gets used. No, not nearly enough.

So you have 4 people shedding clothes in there, sometimes twice a day depending on what is going on. The laundry system we had before (I'm using the term system very loosely) resulted in clothes all over the floor, sometimes stuffed in the already too small master closet, and brought about much frustration and chaos. Too many baskets, not enough places to put them, no one using the baskets (yes, that inclues me). 

So after I made my first set of bookshelves for the kids' rooms, I decided I'd try a little organization for the laundry room. After all, the whole laundry situation was already a disaster, the worst thing that could happen would be that this was another system that didn't work.

However...I think this is working. Behold: the basket stacker (please to ignore the messy laundry room kthanx).

Seriously. Plywood, a bit of paint, a few lessons learned (follow the damn direction, knucklehead - buy the baskets that actually FIT the plan), some drilling, some screwing (no, get your mind out of the gutter, not that kind) and voila. The original plan called for 3 baskets, but I usually run 4 batches of laundry over any given weekend, so I expanded it to hold 4.

Totally easy - the kiddos can even sort as they put stuff in the baskets, and I'm not taking up an unreasonable amount of floorspace (which I don't have even if I wanted to take up an unreasonable amount of space). The baskets slide across the wood, so it wasn't like I had to mess with a bunch of hardware, and while it certainly has a few warts, it works. And it's stable. And the system seems to be working, which is enough for me. 

Santa WHO?

Aaaand one more from the Alyssa files.

Tonight, as I put her to bed, we talked about the weekend and what she enjoyed  the most. When I reminded her that we went out to eat Saturday night, she perked up immediately, and said how much she loved the food at that "Santa Fox" place.

Yeah. Santa Fox, Santo Coyote - it's close, right?

The Infernal, Eternal Optimist

Lest I ever forget that at heart, I am an optimist -

Tonight, I went to the grocery store. As I was checking out, I could hear the rain rattling the roof of the store, and everyone was looking up, thinking about dashing to their cars in the deluge.

Sure enough, as I exited the store with my cart stuffed with grocery bags, it was freaking pouring rain.

And my thought, as I left the cover of  the store and proceeded to get sopping wet, was, "well, at least it's not any colder out, 'cause that would suck."

I annoyed even myself with that way-too-cheerful-for-a-sunday-night thought.

10 Cold, Introspective Miles

Brrrr. It was 40 degrees when I started my run today. And misting. And chilly - did I mention chilly?

I've pretty much given up on the idea of running the full marathon in LR. I mean, I could probably finish it, but it wouldn't be pretty. And it would probably take 5+ hours. I'm not sure I'm up for that. I don't have the training miles logged at this point, and I'm afraid I'd end up injuring myself if I tried. But I do intend to run the half.

The 10 miles I did today actually felt really good, despite my lack recent lack of running. I plugged in some new songs to my running play list, and I ran to the music today. Despite the chill in the air, the light was really pretty with the mist on the trees and fog on the Arkansas river. Everyone out there was as bundled up as I was - headbands, gloves, long sleeves, etc. Most folks looked up and nodded as they passed - it felt very communal for such a solitary sport. Guess we were all feeling silly together.

I hadn't had a chance to really think much - my long run have been lacking lately, and that's when I do a lot of my thinking. It was nice to let my thoughts spin out and see where they landed. I turn 37 on Thursday of this week, so there was a bit of taking stock, thinking about things, where I am in life.

And as it turns out, I'm pretty happy where I am. There have been a few rough spots here and there, some of them lately, but overall, you couldn't pay me to go back to any earlier age. I like being where I am in life. I've learned who I am (at least, for the moment), and I've got more peace with myself than I've had in a very long time. I'm not sure I'd be willing to trade anything for that - including being 10 years, 15 years, however much younger. It ain't worth it.

And I might even go so far as to say - mainly for my brother in law -I might even feel a little bit happy...but don't worry, don't hold your breath. I'm sure it won't last. 

Desk Edition

I finished my desk on Sunday.

I started thinking about a place in the house that would make a decent office for me about, oh, 3 years and 4 months ago. What? That's when we moved in? Huh. Who knew.

So I've wanted a space for me ever since we've moved in. I've moved from desk to kitchen table to dining room table to coffee table. And that was, shall we say, completely and totally unorganized? But when I decided to go back to work, I decided I wanted a spot to call my own. And since I'd bought the table saw recently, I figured I should give it a bit more work to see what I could do.

I searched the interwebs for desk designs that I liked, and found one that looked nice, took up minimal floor space, and looked buildable, even for a novice like me.

This is how it ended up. It's a bit junked up right now, but I'm still futzing around, trying to figure out how it best works. But honestly? I'm quite thrilled with how it turned out. I used a few pieces of red oak veneer plywood, some stain, a 1X6 for the back, and some stainable veneer tape for the rough looking edges. I won't talk about how many hours it took, or the fact that I had to rebuild part of it because I was unhappy with how it turned out.

What matters is that it actually looks decent on the wall, is solid, stable, has even corners, and so far has been quite functional for what I need. As a bonus, I discovered last night that a tumbler will fit very nicely in one of the compartments. Not as much of a spillage chance there - SCORE!

And while I was in the middle of working on the desk, I had a brain storm. I had a few pieces of extra wood that matched my desk - and they were just about the right size to make a holder for the printer.

There's no need to mention the arguments that printer and I have had over the last few years. It's freaking heavy, doesn't operate well just sitting on carpet, and didn't really have a permanent home, so it cluttered up SOME part of the house. Not to mention the fact that the paper always wandered several rooms away from the printer, so when I needed to print something, it was an ordeal. Often, the laptop would be in one room, the printer in another, and the paper had gone AWOL. LESS THAN IDEAL.

Because this desk hangs on the wall, I didn't intend to put a lot of weight on it. So instead, I bought some casters, put them on a bottom board, and built a little compartment to hold my paper. So now I have a printer holder that matches my desk, along with storage space for the paper. And everything should be in the same place every time I need it. This makes me happy.

I like my desk. I love that I was actually able to think this thing through from raw wood to finished product. J had to help me think through what kind of support I'd need to hang the sucker on the wall - 6 large sized bolts going through 3 studs in the wall. Hanging this sucker left my arms tired and sore for two straight days - but it was totally worth it. I'm quite happy with it.

Deep Rambling Thoughts...

Or not.

The title is slightly misleading. There are completely rambling thoughts below. They are almost certainly not deep. You've been warned.

Wow. Busy week. This job thing is crazy busy. This is quite honestly fine - I'm enjoying it a great deal, I'm interacting with adults on a regular basis, and I feel like I've gotten caught up to speed very quickly. It's nice to feel useful from the very start.

It does take a lot of energy. There are plenty of nights where getting through kiddo homework, dinner prep for the next night, and whatever chores need to be done that night all feel insurmountable. The only thing I want is my glass of wine (or bourbon or scotch or whiskey or whatever - I'm equal opportunity here) and a warm bed. Damn you, electric blanket! You are killing my productivity!

What's that? Exercise? I know not of what you speak.

So, we'll probably be back to some of the "balance" type posts here. Trying to figure out how to achieve it all - which of course is impossible. But these are the times when I think 'balance' means something a little closer to cycles and pendulums, not than an actual balance.

When I started writing here a year or so ago, I had a ton of thoughts rolling around my head that I wanted to explore. And I did that, to some degree. I enjoyed writing a lot of those posts, and it helped shake some cobwebs out of my brain. These days, I'm not quite so introspective. I feel like I've spent a good part of the last year or so being introspective, and I guess maybe it's time to get out of that mode? Or maybe I just don't have the luxury of a bit of extra time to ponder those things right now.

So yeah. Not so much with the deep thoughts and introspection, but plenty with the mundane and boring. Heh. Isn't that like life, though? Speaking of cycles and all...sometimes life is just like that. Mundane, boring, monotonous, predictable. And then things change, and you're left wondering what the new 'normal' will be. I love that part of life, though - the tweaks, the turns, the curves. Change is good.

The Exercise, It Is Good

Note to self: Exercise is not an option, it is a requirement. When you have an endorphin addiction, you go slightly crazy when you don't get them regularly. Remember  this.

Catching My Breath

Well crap. I had a nice long post written yesterday that either my ipad or blogger decided didn't need to exist.

That behind me, it's Saturday. It was a crazy busy week. I ran one time. That kind of sucks.

I worked a lot, but not a crazy amount. Some of the people I'm working with appear to work some crazy ass hours. Helloooo burnout. My deal doesn't require those kinds of crazy hours, though. I'm much happier that way.

The kiddos spent the night out last night. J and I played a game, watched a Daily Show episode and went to bed. Exciting times around here, lemme tell you.

I cut my hair this week. It was long enough to donate, so I chopped it off. Considering I see the inside of a hair salon about once every 18 months, I probably needed to cut it. My hairdresser made a big deal about me making sure I wanted it cut - are you sure, are you sure? I do this every 3 years or so, so it doesn't bother me. Hair grows, right? That's what it DOES. Eventually, it will get long again, and then I'll cut it again. Have I mentioned that I like cycles?

I have all the components for my desk built and finished, now I just have to put it together. This is gonna involve some large bolts put into studs. J jokes that I'm the one that has to use the stud finder 'cause those things don't work right around him. Hah. 

OK, off to work on my desk, assuming I can find the stud finder...wish me luck!

Mispronunciation

So last night, I was reading with the girl. She's still learning a lot of sounds and phonics, and we've developed hints for certain sounds over time. For example, for the sound that "ow" makes (owl, howl, etc.), we tap her on top of the head to remind her that it says "owwww," the sound you make when someone hurts you.

This reminder worked really well for the boy, but Alyssa likes to mess around with it. So instead of saying "ow" like she KNOWS she's supposed to, she'll sub in the word "hit." I guess that's because I'm hitting her on top of the head. So instead of "h-ow-l" it becomes "hhh-hit-lll," or for mouse, "mmm-hit-sse."  Yeah, a BIT on the frustrating side.

I made the mistake last night of suggesting she use that reminder on the word "shout."

So from our room, you hear the 5 year old saying...

shhh-hittt.
giggle giggle
Shh-hit!
giggle giggle
Shit!
Laugh laugh

Me:  CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE - change subject.  Look, Alyssa - there's something shiny!

Belonging

I've written about feeling like I just don't really "fit in" in some situations. These situations usually involve moms that are much more involved than I am - the ones that coordinate class room parties and events, always volunteer for field trips, that sort of thing. That's just not in my makeup, unfortunately.

Today, I went to lunch with the main partner with whom I'll be working. She is, according to everyone I've spoken with, a wonderful attorney and terrific to work with. Cue: big BIG sigh of relief. And it was particularly gratifying to hear her talk about how much she felt that she did not fit in with groups like he ones I talked about above. Throw in the fact that she doesn't do drama?

I think we're going to get along just fine.

First Day Down

First day at work - done. It was mostly orientation, and I'm still utterly exhausted. I went to bed early last night and everything, but damn. I know full days are tiring, it's just going to take me a few weeks to get used to it.

I'm also trying to figure out how to weave in my exercising with working. I've totally fallen off the running bandwagon the last week. I ran 16 miles last Monday, and haven't touched my running shoes since then. I think my motivation wore off; I need to figure out how to get it back. I'm not TOO worried yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to only run the Little Rock half, and not the full marathon. Oh well. One of these days I might get around to running a full...

Staccato

So let's see, where did I leave off. Oh yeah, about a week ago, right? So it's a new year and all, and I've decided on the following resolutions:

• To get up earlier;
• To be more productive each day;
• To dress nicer every day;
• To not sit on my ass on the couch every day.

In related news, I'm going back to work on Monday! Score - I just knocked out all of my New Year's resolutions. Now that we have THAT out of the way...

My Christmas tree is still up, my house is in nowhere nearly the shape I had hoped it would be after I took time off, and I have a feeling next week is gonna be a major scramble around here. Regardless, I'm so ready to go back to work, it's not even funny. It's not just for the paycheck either, although that will be nice. I'm ready for some adult interaction and it will be so good to get my butt out of the house every day.

I've been making a desk for myself over the last few weeks. I've got everything cut and stained, now I just need to put it together. "Just" being the operative word. My brain seems to work in funny ways. If I try to mow through something at a decent pace, I tend to inevitably screw it up in a bad way. If, however, I let things percolate for what seems like an embarrassingly long time sometimes, the projects go much better. Maybe I need a new CPU...

Did I mention that I'm also looking forward to going back to work so I can get on a normal sleep schedule? I kind of miss the normal schedule, despite the fact that that means I'll probably be going to bed at 11 every night and getting up at 6:30. That seems to be a good schedule for me.

Anyway, there's been plenty of other stuff going on here, despite the exciting job start news and boring sleep deprivation. I just can't seem to remember what it is right now.

So cheers to 2012, bring on the new year, and hopefully the ebbing away of writer's block. Or at the very least, something more interesting to write about than today's post.

New Years, In Haiku

Happy year ended
Moving forward and ahead.
Love is a strange bitch.

Short and Sweet

I managed an almost-16 mile run yesterday. I ended up with 15.7 miles, but that's close enough to 16 for me. It was cold and windy, and I am seriously feeling it today. I'm thinking a nap may be in order, especially since this is the last week I'll have for that. I start my job on Monday of next week, so there's a serious countdown going on. In the meantime, all sorts of little errands and odd things to take care of before getting back into the fray. I'm seriously looking forward to the new job, though - I'm ready to get out of the house.