10 Cold, Introspective Miles

Brrrr. It was 40 degrees when I started my run today. And misting. And chilly - did I mention chilly?

I've pretty much given up on the idea of running the full marathon in LR. I mean, I could probably finish it, but it wouldn't be pretty. And it would probably take 5+ hours. I'm not sure I'm up for that. I don't have the training miles logged at this point, and I'm afraid I'd end up injuring myself if I tried. But I do intend to run the half.

The 10 miles I did today actually felt really good, despite my lack recent lack of running. I plugged in some new songs to my running play list, and I ran to the music today. Despite the chill in the air, the light was really pretty with the mist on the trees and fog on the Arkansas river. Everyone out there was as bundled up as I was - headbands, gloves, long sleeves, etc. Most folks looked up and nodded as they passed - it felt very communal for such a solitary sport. Guess we were all feeling silly together.

I hadn't had a chance to really think much - my long run have been lacking lately, and that's when I do a lot of my thinking. It was nice to let my thoughts spin out and see where they landed. I turn 37 on Thursday of this week, so there was a bit of taking stock, thinking about things, where I am in life.

And as it turns out, I'm pretty happy where I am. There have been a few rough spots here and there, some of them lately, but overall, you couldn't pay me to go back to any earlier age. I like being where I am in life. I've learned who I am (at least, for the moment), and I've got more peace with myself than I've had in a very long time. I'm not sure I'd be willing to trade anything for that - including being 10 years, 15 years, however much younger. It ain't worth it.

And I might even go so far as to say - mainly for my brother in law -I might even feel a little bit happy...but don't worry, don't hold your breath. I'm sure it won't last.