Death of a Friendship

I've recently managed to kill a friendship in my life. That's always fun, isn't it?

It's not one that holds much meaning in my life any more. Its time has passed, and I suppose I've gotten what I needed from it, learned my lessons, and moved on. There are always people - friends - who are peripherally in your life. I can think of several friends off the top of my head who were around for critical periods of time, only to later drift away without fanfare or even any realization that it was happening. There are unfinished relationships, too - the ones where you'd like a chance to say a few more things to whomever it is that is no longer in your life. And there are the relationships with people who you talk with once a year, if that, but you always seem to be able to pick up where you left off.

This isn't any of those, though. This is one where I've said everything that needs to be said, I've done everything that needs to be done, and it honestly is just complete. The circle has closed, and if it ever opens again, I'd be surprised. I think that somehow makes it easier. That's not to say I won't miss it; it was extremely important at certain times in my life. But I'm at peace with it. And I'm not sure I could possibly ask for anything else.

12 Miler

I didn't quite manage 14 miles on Saturday - I started the run too late, so I had to cut it short at 12, but it was an excellent 12 miles. At one point, I was deep in the doldrums of some depressing line of thought, and as I ran past another runner, he sent a smile my way. It was amazing how much that helped lift my spirits and put a spring back in my step. It reminded me to keep smiling at folks that I passed - some of them might need one a lot more than I did.

I managed 6 miles on the NLR side of the Big Dam Bridge, then crossed over to the LR side and met up with a friend to run the rest. We're both doing the Fayetteville Half this weekend - I'm a little concerned about the hills, but the weather is at least looking good. Cold, but not ass-freezing cold (yes, there IS a difference), and no rain/sleet/snow in the forecast right now.

There are 5 of us running the race on Sunday morning, and I expect that 4 of the 5 will probably be pretty close to each other in terms of finish time. J will probably blow us all out of the water - that's what long legs will get you, I suppose. Guess that's something I'll never know!

Mount Magazine

Although I lived in Arkansas for my entire childhood, I somehow never made it up to Mount Magazine - the highest point in Arkansas. This weekend, J and I joined some friends at a cabin up there, and it was beautiful. Although we were fogged in on Saturday (visibility was about 20 feet at some points), we did get out to do a 3 hour 4-wheeler tour that afternoon, which was a ton of fun. I've never really ridden a 4-wheeler before, so I was a bit nervous at first. But after about half an hour, I started to get the feel for it, and really enjoyed myself. We went up and down back trails in the mountains, while I tried not to drive into a tree as I took in the sights. The trees were definitely past peak foliage, but still quite beautiful. It was a good reminder of how beautiful some parts of this state are.

We stayed at one of the cabins up on the mountain, near the Mount Magazine lodge; the back deck looked out over this incredible vista (which we didn't really see until Sunday morning, but whatev. It was there.). We took full advantage of the hot tub out there both nights, even though the first night it was about 40 degrees and windy as hell. We also hiked to the top of Signal Hill, which is the highest point in Arkansas. It was interesting to be at a point where there was no more 'up' - you were at the top.

We ate well, drank well, played Settlers of Catan for the first time (I think J is hooked, which will not be a surprise to anyone who knows him), and generally had a very good time. I'm pretty sure we'll want to take the kiddos next time we go - I think they'd dig some of the hiking trails, and the scenery was pretty incredible in places. I'm sure I'll be setting myself up for some whining, but whatever. That's my role, right? That's what a parent does.

Sleep Deprivation is a Good Thing?

Holy cow, what a crazy weekend.

One of my close girlfriends from Houston, Laura, was up in Fayetteville this weekend. She drove up for the game with a couple of guys I know, and had been asking me if I could meet her up there at some point over the weekend. I'd been pretty doubtful, because J and I were playing a mixed doubles tournament this weekend, and that usually means matches on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. But the draws were totally screwed up, and J and I didn't play our first match until Saturday at 2:30. So Friday morning, I busted my ass, got a ton of shit done that needed doing, and made my way up to Fayetteville for the night.

J will quite possibly have 6 tennis matches over 2 days, so he decided not to go up with me. He was, however, awesome enough to let me go by myself. He didn't have it too badly himself, though - my mom kept the kids so he got a night completely off. He also got a bit more sleep than I did, but that's all good. The only caveat was that I could not come back and try to play our tennis match with a hangover. He was skeptical about whether I would be able to stick with this, and given my history, he might've been slightly right to be skeptical. Sometimes being petite is not the best thing in the world...my liver is apparently just as small as the rest of me.

Anyway. I digress.

So I made it up to Fayetteville in time for happy hour, and picked up a friend of mine who teaches at the UA on the way to a wine bar there. We hung out at the Wine Cellar until his wife showed up, and Laura and the boys made it ito town. We made introductions, all had a glass of wine, and chatted for a while. I'm always curious to see what happens when we introduce one group of friends to another - most of the time it works just fine, and it seems like this round of intros went fine as well. Eventually, Laura and I split off to have dinner with the boys, while the professor and his wife went to eat dinner.

We all met back up later that night at a Jazz Club near Dickson to listen to some live music (Laura was staying at the house of one of the band members playing there, so that's how we knew about it). The club was completely packed. Laura and I had to wait outside for about 10 minutes because the club was at capacity. Really? In Fayetteville? Then again, it was the night before a big game, so I guess it makes sense.

The music was great, but the bar was understaffed and slow, and the place was jam packed. Around midnight, the six of us split and headed to the professor and his wife's house to hang out on their deck, because the club had lost its appeal in the chaos.

There is something about late night conversations (laced with a bit of good scotch, or a good bit of scotch, whatever) that makes the inevitable sleep deprivation the next day 100% worth it. This sounds corny, but it felt a bit magical to be outside on their deck at 2am, surrounded by wonderful friends, bright stars above, a cool breeze, some background guitar music, and a slight buzz. It just makes you wish the night wouldn't end - and maybe that's where the magic lies, because you know that eventually, the evening will come to a close, everyone will sleep, and you'll have to pay the price tomorrow (or today, depending on the time). But for a few hours, you can push that thought back, and just revel in the here and how.

At some point in the past few months, my brother in law made a remark about keeping magic in your life. Although he might've been talking about a different kind of magic, I can see his point here. I am incredibly lucky to have some good friends in my life, and so, so fortunate to have nights like this.

Eventually, though, the night had to end. I'm fairly certain it was sometime after 4 am, before Laura, the professor and I stumbled into the house and headed to bed. And I was awake before 8, so it was quite the short night. As far as the tennis match yesterday afternoon...well, J and I won. And I was not hungover, thankyouverymuch. But it was not pretty; in fact, it was one of the uglier matches we've played. And ask me if I can remember a damn thing we talked about after 2am on the deck of my friends' house - and I have no freakin' clue. I remember laughing a lot, and I guess I'm gonna have to go with that.

The last night I remember that had a similar feel was the last night we spent on the deck in North Carolina with all of our Houston friends. I don't remember much about those conversations either, and it was a very late night, but again - same conclusion, it was totally worth it.

So maybe it's not about the conversations at all. Maybe it's just about being with the people  you know best, and people who know you best. The history behind you, the time that's been put into the relationships, and the ability to let time stand still for a few hours here and there, and just enjoy life.

And before you ask, no, I haven't been drinking today. I'm just feeling sentimental. It'll be a while before it happens again, promise. 

Secrets

What happened last night is between me, J, our friends, their hot tub, and the ENTIRE HILLCREST NEIGHBORHOOD who I'm sure could hear our shrieks of laughter at 2:30 this morning. I'd like to promise that it won't happen again, but I hate to lie...

Hello, Friday

The weather is perfect on the back deck this morning - sunny, cool breeze, upper 70s, perfect. I have a good friend in town, good coffee, and good conversation. There's bread rising in the kitchen, the trash is already out, the house is tolerably clean, and the Razorbacks play this weekend. A date with some friends and a hot tub Saturday night, and a couple of runs on the agenda at some point.

It's shaping up to be a very good weekend.

Home Again, Home Again

HOME. Finally.

What a great trip, even though it was a LOT of driving. We made Nashville on Wednesday night with a bit of low flying (5 hours, even though google maps said it'd take 6...), and we were in the mountains by 2pm on Thursday. The group of friends on this trip are all friends from our Houston time, even though only one of the five families still lives in Houston. But we've known most of these folks for nearly 10 years, some of them for longer, so we've got some pretty good history with them, and lots of good memories.

So. A total of five families made this trip, making 10 adults and 8 kids, aged 6 years to 4 months. It was a FULL house, but for some reason it seemed to work ok. The house was three levels, and noisy as hell, meaning that if anyone was on the main level (kitchen, main room, etc.), you heard them both upstairs and down. Mostly wood floors and wood ceilings through the entire house, and I don't think there was any insulation between floors, so just walking across a floor was noisy. Our kids were older, so we probably had the best end of the deal - no babies waking up, and ours are a breeze to put to bed. I'm pretty sure it was not as easy for everyone else with younger kids, though.

But once the kiddos were in bed at night, everyone that was still awake trooped out to the deck (which was huge), turned on the baby monitors, cranked up the blender for margaritas, and sat outside in the nice mountain air, shooting the shit, reminiscing, and generally having a fantastic time. There was an outdoor fireplace that one of the guys got going each night for s'mores and a bit of heat, 'cause it was quite a bit cooler at night than it is in AR. It was awesome.

The last night we were there, we finally managed to get all ten of the adults on the deck at the same time. One of the crew hadn't ever seen a shooting star (she called herself a "shooting star virgin"), and it was the first really clear night we'd had, so we all spent about an hour craning our necks at the stars and counting satellites, airplanes, and finally, shooting stars. To give you a flavor of the evening conversation, she "popped her shooting star cherry." There were many worse jokes than that, especially as the margaritas got stronger and the bottle of jack emptied. At some point, we even cranked up the 80s music (I'm sort of embarrased to admit that one). And of course, it was completely dark on the deck, so hilarity ensued when folks tried to move around (see: glasses kicked, things dropped, and lots of laughing). Stories were told, lots of bad jokes were made, and we eventually realized this was the first vacation we'd managed to get all five couples (well, now it's families I suppose) together. That was pretty amazing, considering how many trips the crew has taken over the years.

Plans were definitely tossed around for the next trip like this one...we'll see what happens. Getting 18 people together in the same place at the same time was a feat that I think every person expressed surprised at pulling off. Everyone was waiting to see who would back out of this one, but no one did. I'm guessing no one wanted to deal with the shit that would be thrown if they were the couple that backed out ... He he he. But yeah. Five different cities, four different states, and we managed to pull it off better than we did when we all lived in one city. Fingers crossed the next time works out just as well...

Things We Have Learned

In the time BC*, back when we lived in Houston, J and I fell in with a group of friends that liked to get together pretty regularly. Over time, and with some practice, J and I developed a pretty good formula for throwing parties. There are a couple of required elements that go something like this:

• Interesting people;
• Decent music; and
• Drinks. The earlier, the better.

Last night, we threw a poker party at the house. Surprisingly, it's one of very few completely adult get togethers that we've thrown since moving here. Some of it has been because we have the kiddos now, but another large part has been getting to know enough people to put something like this together. Don't get me wrong, we do know quite a few people at this point. But combining a group of people that don't necessarily know each other is sometimes a little tricky.

Last night, everything seemed to gel really well from the very beginning. We had some people who had never met each other, but when they immediately started finding common ground with each other, I figured we were in for a good night.

We played poker, made margaritas, and drank good bourbon and red wine until sometime after 1am. There were a lot of bad jokes, some really bad singing (thanks rock band), and some hilarious poker plays ("yeah, I thought three of a kind and a pair seemed like a pretty good hand, but I wasn't sure"). Of course, a couple of us had tennis this morning at 9, but we didn't let that get in the way of a good time. In fact, I think we learned a valuable lesson last night - and J gets total credit for this one.

I left him in charge of the food for the night, and he came home from the store with a veggie tray, chips, dips, some milano cookies, and ... pizza rolls.

Me:  "Um, frozen pizza rolls?  REALLY?"
J:  "Yeah, they'll be great!"
Me:  "I could've made a really yummy artichoke dip, you know..."
J:  "Nah, these will be even better!"

I have to say, based partly on how awesome those pizza rolls tasted at 10:30 last night, I'd already consider adding them in to whatever food we have at the next party. But the cherry on top? Apparently eating around a third of a large bag is a great hangover deterrent, because I woke up feeling fine this morning. Next time, bring on the pizza rolls sooner rather than later.

*BC = Before Children.

Heavy

Warning, this one is on the heavy side. I need to write it out, but it's more for me than anything else.


I was very fortunate to grow up in one house. When I was two years old, my parents moved from LR to NLR, and we stayed in the NLR house until after I got married and moved to Houston.

Sometime after we moved to Houston, my parents decided to sell the NLR house and move to Maumelle. I never saw the NLR house while it was on the market or after it sold; J and I simply got directions to the new house during one trip home from H-town. It was more than a little odd to need directions to my parents' house, lemme tell you.

Right after they moved, I started hearing about some friends that were helping my parents move in, Patty and Gib. My parents had known them for a while from their social circle, but had never been particularly close; however, P&G's house was less than a mile from their new one. P had apparently come over and helped my mom get her kitchen organized, which meant only one thing: she had to be amazing. My mom's kitchen is her domain, and she can cook like nobody's business. If she let someone else help her set it up? That person had to be pretty awesome.

Over the last ten years or so, P&G have become a fixture in my parent's lives, and vice versa. They have a routine dinner date Friday nights, usually followed by a raucous, low buy-in poker game. J and I have played several times, and we usually end up just shaking our heads at the "strategy" employed in the game. There are always jokes about who's paying for breakfast the next morning (sometimes that actually happens, too), and the smack talking is prolific.

G is one of those incredibly loud mouthed individuals that sometimes makes you wonder how on earth he survived to this point in his life without someone opening fire on him. On the flip side, any time you ever need anything - be it caramel popcorn, questionable baked desserts, a pond pump (go figure), or a helping hand, he's there. A loud-mouthed, extremely kind-hearted individual. It was very common for me to be over at my parents house for about half an hour and have him stop by with a batch of cinnamon rolls that he'd bought for a fundraiser - not because he wanted them, but because he was supporting someone he cared about. He was a regular, and a very generous soul.

On Saturday, while our crew was all in Vegas, G had a heart attack while working in his yard. He spent hours each day doing this, so it wasn't out of the ordinary, but he'd been  having some indications that maybe he should get his heart checked out. He didn't.

His memorial service is this afternoon. It's been an odd and hard thing to think about this week. He wasn't a daily part of my life, but definitely of my parents' life. These are some of their best friends, and one is suddenly gone. A very gregarious, loud, integral part of their lives.

I came back from Vegas already thinking of how incredibly grateful and fortunate I am for my friends and family. I have some of the best people in my life that I could ever hope for, and I can't imagine losing any of them. I can't imagine such a big part of life suddenly disappearing, even though the possibility is always there.

We're going to be spending a lot of time with friends and family this summer on various trips, and I'm reminded to not take this time flippantly or for granted. Life is not always going to be as kind and generous as it is right now.

Tripping

Wow.

Just wow. What a freakin' fantastic trip.

We had 12 twelve people descend on Vegas this weekend. It was awesome.

There were any number of ways this trip could have gone wrong. For one thing, no one on the trip knew everyone else. There was one couple and J and I had never met, one couple we'd only met a couple of times, and the rest we knew pretty well, but we were the exception. Some folks only knew a couple of people on the trip. The potential for awkward silences, conflicting personalities, and group frustration was high. And none of that happened.

Instead, there are several former Vegas newbies who, by the end of the trip, were talking about making this an annual trip and friending each other on Facebook. These are signs of a very successful trip.

The down and dirty:

Thursday: Eight of us arrive in Vegas around 4pm. We eventually make it to the hotel, get checked in, and head to dinner around 7 Vegas time. Dinner decision for 12 was made extremely easily - hamburgers in a nearby casino (we all stayed at Bally's). Post dinner: wandered around some casinos a while, scoped out tables for J, and eventually found some decent video poker. I ended up playing video poker with one person or another until around 2:30 am, when I finally called it a day. Bear in mind, this is 4:30 in LR. Then I had a terrible time falling asleep, and finally crashed around 4 am, only to be woken by crushing nausea around 4:30. Damn jack and cokes. So I got about an hour's worth of sleep that night. Yay.

Friday: Crepes and coffee in the Paris' Creperie around 10, once my stomach settled a little. Our entire crew gathered at the Creperie and split up for the day. One group drove out to the Valley of Fire in the desert, and the rest of us stayed in town to do some shopping/gambling/casino ogling. We wandered around until about 4:00 that afternoon, going in the Bellagio, Aria, Monte Carlo, and some other casinos that I can't remember the names of.

Later that night, we all had tickets for Cirque du Soleil's "Love" based on the Beatles' music. Drinks beforehand with one group of friends, and then an absolutely fantastic sushi dinner after. Some of the best sushi I've had so far. We gambled a little after dinner, but I only made it to about 1:30 that night; that wasn't too bad considering how little sleep I was going on.

Saturday: More crepes (YUM), then the cabana that we had rented for the day by the Bally's pool. At first I thought it wouldn't be that great a thing, but every single person in our group spent a good bit of time down by the pool. In hindsight, I think we'll be much more likely to rent a cabana in the future if we take a group out there. It was a great way to spend Saturday. Some of the folks also got massages, some folks went for walks, some went for tacos, some played video poker, some read books by the pool, and some worshipped the sun for several hours. It was a long, lazy, removed-from-realiity afternoon.

Saturday afternoon, four of us played a poker tourney over at Bill's casino. The tourney started with 3 tables of 10 folks each - the gender split in these things always amuses me. I think there were a total of 4 women in the tournament, but I was the only female at the table I started on. Why oh why don't more women play this game? Anyway. All four of us playing made it down to the two table cut, and two of our crew bowed out somewhere after that. J and I made the final table (although I was on short stack and the first one out from that), but J finished 3rd and in the money! Woo hoo! Totally awesome for him. The payout was a pretty good return on his buy in, so this is a good thing. Once the poker tourney was over, everyone hit a nearby Thai place for dinner, and finished the trip off with some gambling.

But I have to say, one of my favorite memories of the trip was later that night. Two of the group had 6:30am flights on Sunday morning, so their plan was to just stay up all night, rather than sleep 2 hours and get woken up at an absurdly early hour to get to the airport. So 5 of us, including the couple with the insanely early flight, played video poker and drank until about 1am, when we all decided to go to the Sugar Factory, a 24 hour dessert place. Oh. My. God. The chocolate there was heavenly.  Chocolate fondu, eclairs, "frozen hot chocolate" - I only wish I could have eaten more. We were all loopy from lack of sleep and alcohol, and the conversation was all kinds of goofy. I haven't laughed that much in forever.

In all honesty, it felt like a charmed trip. With 12 people involved, many of whom who were meeting for the first time, I was a bit concerned that we'd have personality conflicts and other issues. Never happened. It's one of the few times I've really not been ready to leave Vegas - I didn't even lose that much gambling! Funny what happens when there's so much other stuff going on. J didn't have that problem, though - his Sunday morning gambling session kicked his butt, so he was ready to come home. Ah well. It was a nearly perfect trip.

Busy Day

I got back from Houston last night while the sun was still up - amazing! It was incredibly fitting that my car rolled over 100,000 miles on this last trip home from Houston. I was in Atlanta, Texas, on highway 59, just a little south of Texarkana when the event occurred. I despise car payments, so I'd dearly love it if my car would just keep chugging along for another 100,000 miles. Please?

If I'd been good, I would've hit the ground running last night, but alas. I played words with friends and goofed around until far too late. So today, in bullets:

• Knocked out a 3 mile run this morning before J left for work. It was hot, hard, and humid. My pace was pretty slow, but my hip seems to have healed, so I'm not stressing about speed. I'll just be very content to not be injured. Actually, my pace was around a 10:10 mile. That's really not that slow for me, I'm not sure what I was expecting. Heh. Need to rein in expectations.
• Kids have swim lessons this morning, and then want to stay and swim at the pool for a while after.
• We have good friends coming through town this afternoon.  Gina, you already know not to expect a pristine house...I've been gone for 3 days, so you know how it goes.  My slave labor has been mostly cooperative in the cleanup effort, but they seem to currently be distracted in a game of froggy baseball, with a drumstick for a bat.  Go figure. But Benjamin has already promised to show K his legos and make sure baby J doesn't put anything in her mouth, so they are definitely looking forward to seeing you guys.
• J's parents are cooking dinner for us tonight. His dad makes a recipe called "Cornell chicken" which is so incredibly yummy - I'm already looking forward to it.
• I think J and B have haircuts scheduled for after dinner, so A and I will probably go play trivia with some friends.
• Collapse.

Obviously, gonna be a busy day. Here we go...

Drink the Good Wine

I made the drive from LR to Houston on Sunday night, one of the last of these drives. I'm cleaning out my office this week, saying goodbye to some folks, and sort of wrapping up my time here. It's really sad in many ways, even though I'm looking forward to the summer with the kiddos. I've been at the firm for over seven years now, long enough to go from being childless to having two kiddos in school. I sincerely loved this job, and the folks I worked with. It's hard to say goodbye, even though I know it's the right decision.

Anyway, in the frantic hour or so before I left the house Sunday afternoon, I downloaded a couple of podcasts to listen to on the trip. On of them was a short running "Intervals" podcast entitled "Drink the Good Wine." The gist of it, of course, was to encourage the listener to not wait for the fabled special occasion to open a good bottle of wine. Instead, let the good wine help make the occasion special. Live life while you can, make regular occasions special when you can. I love this idea, and it reminded me of our pizza party recently.

On Memorial Day, we had about 20 people at our house for homemade pizzas. There's a connection to wine here, I promise, just stick with me. It was a terrific day, even though I woke up at 5:30 that morning and couldn't go back to sleep for thinking about all the stuff I needed to do. We make our pizzas from scratch: dough, pizza sauce, toppings, pretty much all of it. And I thoroughly enjoy making them, even though it wears my ass out.

In all, I made 8 pizzas that Monday: A Greek pizza, a Brisket pizza (J's brainstorm), a Margarita, a tropical (pineapple, Canadian bacon, shrimp), 2 kiddo friendly pizzas, and two supreme style pizzas. We made the pizzas around lunchtime, with a cooler of beer and some wine to ease the conversation. There were family members, friends that might as well be family, friends who are still getting comfortable with our craziness, and I'm not sure how many kiddos running around our house. I think it's safe to say that it was one of our better gatherings.

When the last of the pizzas came out of the oven, I grabbed a few slices and looked around to refill my wine. Ugh. Out of white wine. Pizza party fail. Unwilling to switch to beer or red wine, I wandered back to the wine fridge to see if I'd overlooked a bottle. Nope. No regular white...but there was a good bottle of sparkling that I'd bought a while back. You know - for special occasions. 

Hmmmm...wonder if anyone else would be interested...

For some reason, it seemed like that bottle was the fitting end to a fantastic gathering. Most people took a little, even though champagne at 3pm after homemade pizza is a bit out of the ordinary. It reminded me how much I enjoy the luxury of planning these gatherings, cooking good food, and watching people enjoy themselves. It is such a wonderful expansion and enrichment to my life.

And really, how lucky am I to have such a wonderful group of people in my life? What better time to break out a good bottle of champagne? The occasion wasn't fancy for any particular reason, just good family and friends getting together. But really, what occasion is more special than that?

Routine? What Routine?

It's been a busy week. Wait, back up. Can I really say that with a straight face? I mean, I haven't had work deadlines, I haven't been chained to the computer, I haven't billed any hours, I haven't produced any work product. At. All.

But what I have done? Is many hours of yard work. And many loads of laundry. And baked a couple (multiple!) batches of cookies, with another new recipe in the near future. I've played tennis while the sun was up, I've played Words with Friends at strange times during the day. I've got a huge load of stuff to take to Goodwill, and the house isn't too far from being ready for folks to come over. In fact, we had some friends stop by last night, and I was able to bring them into the kitchen/den without batting an eye. Progress, baby.

I've picked the kids up early from school, and I haven't felt quite as scattered as I have in the past. I won't say I'm approaching the "O" word quite yet (that's organized for those of you with your minds in the gutter), but there's a bit of hope there.

So yeah. It's been a really busy week. And just like a normal workweek, it's 4:30 on Friday and I love the feeling of the week winding to a close. There's a ton of fun stuff to look forward to this weekend, and while I'd love to be sipping a glass of wine right now, J and I have a mixed doubles match later tonight (we're playing a tournament together - hopefully we won't kill each other). I'm gonna guess he wouldn't be too happy with a partner that showed up sloshed, although there ARE some folks out there who play better with a beer or two.  But I digress.

Mixed doubles tournament, baseball/tball, annual Memorial day BBQ at J's house on Sunday, relatives and friends in town, Riverfest and fireworks, homemade pizza with friends on Monday - yup. It's gonna be a great weekend. See you on the flip side, if not before.

Weekend Amusements

So, a couple of amusements in the last few days.

• I played tennis one night last week at the Athletic Club in Little Rock. The courts are surrounded by honeysuckle, which smells heavenly right now. Every now and then, the fragrance would drift on to the court, and I'd feel like I was playing in Hawaii, where everything smells incredible. I was amazed that I was the first one to comment on the wonderful smell, and no one else had noticed it before I mentioned it. What gives, ya'll? It was incredible out there!
• So this same doubles match involved me and another lady who is about my age, and two other women who are probably in their 50s. One of the older ladies was doing us quite the favor, as she was usually well into her nightly glass of wine by the time we played that evening. I commiserated.
  
  The second older lady, a tall brunette in full makeup and perfect hair, is one of those women who epitomizes the sassy southern woman. The perfect combination of sweetness and smartass, with the amazing southern drawl that only someone who lives here can appreciate. Her voice usually precedes her presence on the court, so you know when she's coming. She's unapologetic about her voice, cussing, and pretty much anything else. That's just who she is, and she's hilarious.
  
  Late in the match, I was trying to buckle down and serve out a game. I'd struggled a little during the match, mainly because I wasn't as focused as I should have been. It was just a practice after all, but I needed to bring my game back around. So I settled in for the first point, served a nice serve to the tall brunette and won the point. As I gathered the balls for the next point, I could hear her across the court talking to herself, expressing frustration with the previous point.  I was getting set up to serve the next point as she continued her tirade against her missed service return, and she capped it off with a fabulously drawled, self directed "yeww dumbahhss."
  
  I proceeded to double fault the next two points as I was laughing too hard to pull my shit back together. I love playing tennis in the south, and I love these women. I've never had so much fun playing matches.
• Outside of the tennis front, J and I went to a crawfish boil this weekend up in Bentonville. It was friggin' COLD. Fortunately, there were lots of warming beverages, a fire pit, and interesting people. I got to watch my first game of beer pong - guess I can chalk that one up to one of life's experiences? No, I didn't play. I wasn't looking for a hangover this weekend, and I don't particularly care for beer, so it wasn't really worth it. But I can now say I at least know what the damn game is. And it was amusing as hell to watch all these folks from their early 20s through mid 50s playing drinking games. Guess there's no such thing as a moratorium on the craziness of youth? 
  
  Being back in NWA always makes me nostalgic for college days. It's so beautiful up there, life is a bit slower, and people seem a bit less reserved. We have many friends up in that area, and sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to be living up there. Life won't be slow, no matter where we are. With two kiddos and (usually) two working parents, there's no such thing as a slow life, not to mention the kiddos are quite attached to their grandparents.
  
  But with sunsets over the mountains, watching the moonlight coming up in the trees around a firepit, good friends, and what at least looks like a more grounded lifestyle, it's hard not to feel the pull to be up there.

Whew.

Holy cow the last few days have been busy.  I worked every night last week except for one; my eyes are getting blurry from reading so much. 

Drove back to LR from Houston last night, it was a surprisingly fast drive.  I just zoned out for several hours and listened to music.  How is it that I'm only just now learning about The National???  One of the guys I worked with this week turned me on to them; he had them going in the conference room we were working in.  They make me think of Morphine, with a similar murky sound that reminds you of dark 3am parties.

I haven't exercised since Wednesday, and I'm not sure how much of a chance I'll get this weekend.  J is in Vegas for a boys' weekend, which makes me only slightly jealous (I do love a good Vegas trip). But I've missed the kiddos and am looking forward to spending the weekend with them.  We're going to watch the Hogs game with some friends, maybe watch a Star Wars movie, probably do a little shopping, and I think we've got my sister-in-law and her family coming in tomorrow night for dinner.  So we'll definitely stay busy.

The boys' weekend in Vegas is a revisit of at trip that happened 7 or 8 years ago.  Almost the same cast of characters (minus one guy I think), all folks we were friends with in Houston.  J and I were talking about the differences between then and now - mainly that everyone now has kids (all the guys are part of the couples we used to hang around with), and everyone is in a more stable financial position than we were then.  Two couples are expecting their second kiddo, and I think we are the only ones who are entirely out of diapers - THANK GOD. 

While I am sort of jealous about it, I'm glad he's going.  I usually try to take at least one trip on my own every year (typically to see girlfriends in other states), and it sounds strange, but I enjoy the time away.  It's a little different now that I'm traveling so much for work; the trips aren't as much about getting away for a break as much as they are reconnecting with good friends.  When the kiddos were babies, it was a LOT about taking a much needed break!  But I think the separate trips are good, especially when he's been holding down the fort with me traveling so much.  At the same time, it's kind of strange to have the kiddos to myself all weekend.  It feels like I'm going from 90mph to a screeching halt.   Have to remember to slow down and recharge this weekend.

Off to see what kind of chaos is going on in my house; judging by the noise, there has been a (hopefully small) flood in the bathroom while I've been writing this...

Reminders

  

 So the Girls' Weekend to Fayetteville was awesome, of course.  We spent all day Friday just catching up with each other, playing cards, munching, and hanging out.  We had to make a Sonic run, of course - our friend who lives in Oregon has to have a Sonic run because the closest one to her house is nearly two hours away.  So her vanilla diet coke runs are few and far between, and our Sonic runs are tradition. 

 

 Saturday we actually managed to get ourselves out of the house at a reasonable hour - mainly with the siren call of HUGO'S!  If you are at all familiar with Fayetteville, you have to be familiar with Hugos, home of the Derek's special sandwich (one of the best damn grilled chicken sandwiches you can get anywhere).  Their fries are great hangover food, and the laid back, below street level atmosphere rocks.  These things are all well and good, but the real reason to go - Grasshopper Crepes. 

Holy cow guys, these things are soooo good.  Yummy crepes stuffed with mint chocolate chip ice cream and oreos, covered with more mint chocolate chip ice cream and chocolate sauce.  We were all completely full after lunch, but obviously that did nothing to impair our ability to make those bad boys disappear.  Awesomeness. 

 

  

We spent Saturday afternoon before the concert at Wilson park, a park about half a mile off the U of A campus.  We met up with some good friends from our college years, and watched everyone's kids run around with the disbelief that comes when you realize time isn't standing still.  It's bittersweet to mark time with old friends, you know?  It's always so much fun to catch up on what everyone is doing, but at the same time, we're starting to think in terms of our kids going to college down the road, and high school reunions with too many years in front of those words.  At the same time, we've turned into those older folks you used to see walking down memory lane  I used to watch them, being glad I wasn't there yet.  Heh.

Saturday night was the alleged reason for our Girls' Trip.  We went to see the Black Crowes at - get this - the Northwest Arkansas Amphitheater.  When we were buying tickets, we all somehow failed to see the tagalong line "at the Northwest Arkansas Mall."  It was a tent.  In the mall parking lot. That was when we realized why the tickets had been so cheap - you could get yourself a pair of Dockers at JC Pennys and see a show, all at the same time!

Of course, the show wasn't the main goal of the trip - they could have canceled the show and we would have all been just as happy; it was just an excuse to get together.  And honestly, the concert itself was pretty damn good.  I thought the acoustics were fine, and the Crowes played for nearly 3 hours - awesome, awesome show.  There was still some irony in the fact one of us flew from the Oregon, one from the North Carolina, and one drove from the Alabama, for what was essentially a mall parking lot concert.  

The details of that night shall remain confidential; however, there might have been one or two folks who rolled down a grassy hill just for the hell of it in the middle of all the exiting concert traffic.  I'm not sure they needing the rolling for the world to be spinning, but whatever.  It was a blast.  I get bogged down in real life a lot and forget to be grateful for the many things I have. Sometimes I think I forget how to feel happy.  This weekend, and these girls, are a reminder of that feeling.  I'm incredibly fortunate. 

35

I went with The Girls to Fayetteville this weekend.  We all met in college at Fayetteville sometime during our freshman year, and we've remained close friends ever since.  We are all over the country now, in four different states and three different time zones, but we manage to get together about once every year or two.  This weekend was in Fayetteville for the Black Crowes concert - signature music from our college years.  It was a terrific concert, made all the better by running into the keyboardist beforehand.  Great music, incredible weather, interesting ummm smells...it was all good.  Perfect, even.

As of this week, we are all 35.  It doesn't seem possible, really, that we could actually be contemplating our 40th birthdays.  The differences in being back on campus after being gone for many years were interesting, and it wasn't just the new buildings (although there were a lot of them!).  I can remember wondering who used to buy the clothes and non-school books in the university bookstore, because how the hell could I afford $50 for a sweatshirt and still eat???  Now I get it.  We buy them - the folks who go back, the ones whose memories help suspend time for a weekend.  But even in the midst of the memories, I'm still glad to be where I am now.  I'm not sure I'd go back to my early 20s again, as terrific as they were.  I kinda like where I am right now. 

35 Is:
*Being able to walk into a university bookstore and buy a shirt (or two) without worrying about whether you'll be able to buy toilet paper this week.
*Still being surprised by old friends.
*Going to a concert and really not giving a damn about how badly you dance, because you are just so happy to be there, with your best friends, enjoying the music.
*Taking your husband along with you for the trip (because he really is one of the girls) and watching him and one of The Girls get totally plastered - and no one getting sick, and no hangovers in the morning.  Guess that means that we drink smarter these days.
*Driving through campus and occasionally not knowing where you are because there is so much new construction.
*Beginning to feel settled in who you are, but knowing that the ability to surprise yourself is very much still there.  And being wary of it.
*Pretty damn good.