Contentment

A few weeks ago, I wrote about a moment that contained pure contentment. It wasn't any big event, it wasn't even anything much out of the ordinary. It was basically an ordinary night following an ordinary day at work and dinner with a good friend. But for whatever reason, at one particular moment, I felt complete contentment with who I was and my place in this world.

There's no particular reason for me to feel discontent with my life. I don't have any great strife or frustration going on in my life; in fact, I'm pretty damned lucky all around. But I still feel the push and pull of life, the "could I be doing this, should I really be doing that, am I making the right decision about this issue?" I think it's something probably most people feel at one time or another; the indecisiveness with not knowing what the future holds. Sometimes it's wondering whether you are fulfilling your potential, sometimes it's making sure you are happy with the way your life is going, and sometimes maybe it's just a bad mood that sets you thinking.

Couple the indecisiveness with the typical every day life stuff (which takes up 95% of my time, if not more), and the moments of contentment tend to get shoved out of the picture unless I look for them. I'd like to get in the habit of looking for them more often, being more open to them. At the same time, part of what makes these moments so memorable is their rarity. Maybe I just need to get better at recognizing them and enjoying them when they happen.