The Pause

Exercise is therapy.  God only knows how many thousands of dollars I've saved over the years with various types of exercise.  Running is relatively new to the arsenal; in the past, tennis and softball have been the order of the day.  Funny...both of those involve hitting the hell out of balls.  Running, however, only involves hitting your feet on the pavement, step after step after step. 

There is a lot of therapeutic value to wearing your ass out with exercise.  You just don't have the energy to stress out after a 2 hour tennis match or a 6 mile run.  But I'm not sure you can say this is relaxation as much as it is simple exhaustion. 

When we were at the beach recently, there was a moment where I could feel myself start to relax.  The rhythm of the waves and the ocean breeze (ok, it might've been nearly a gale, but stay with me here) lulled me into a few moments of peace, where I could begin to understand the pull some people feel to live near the shore.  It was almost like an involuntary surrender to nature, a fleeting feeling that was gone all too quickly. 

I tried to recapture that feeling the entire time we were at the beach, but between kiddos and yummy shrimp salad and, well, "interesting" swimsuits and wardrobe malfunctions, I was only able to dance around the fringes of it.

But I realized after we got home that it wasn't an unfamiliar feeling, only an unfamiliar situation.  It might seem strange, but some of my most relaxing moments occur in the 30 seconds or so before I start a run.  I've only recently realized how much I look forward to this moment - the pause just before feet meet pavement.  It is both physical and mental.  Everything slows down, the day falls away, and for just a few fleeting seconds, there is only that moment in time.  No past, no future, no rest of the day.  There is only me, the path in front, and the goal, whatever it is that day. 

It is freedom. 

Today's run was at the lake near our house, and it was an incredible spring day.  The pause before the run was a joy - every muscle in my body relaxed, the brain fog cleared, and the only emotion I was capable of was gratefulness.  I was uninjured and getting ready to start a run, my legs felt strong, it was a beautiful day, and I had half an hour in front of me that was completely mine.  It was complete relaxation, and it's nearly involuntary before a run these days.  It just happens, and I look forward to it more and more each time I run. 

I still enjoy the gritty, salty feeling of accomplishment after a nice long run, and the ability to eat copious amounts of chocolate without scale arguments is a nice bonus.  But the pause before the run, when the world falls away for a few moments and anything is possible?  That will keep me coming back more than anything else.  And?  It'll also help keep the therapy bills low.  That's a win/win in my book.