Perspectives

I went to the library here in Maumelle yesterday as one of the things on my to do list. Let's just ignore the fact that it was the only thing I got done on my list yesterday, mmm'k?

J wanted a copy of the 7th Harry Potter book, and I wanted to look for a couple of young readers for the kiddos. Part of their homework every night is to read, and I managed to find a batch of Star Wars readers for Benjamin - Score! But of course I also managed to find a few books for myself, one of which is Nigel Marsh's Fat, Forty, and Fired.

I'm about a third of the way through the book, and while there are plenty of things that have made me roll my eyes in this "formerly corporate dad turned househusband for a year" tale, there have been a few things that have made me think. He's been a dad-in-absentee for his four kids' entire lives, and decides to suddenly plunge himself into an involved parent role. His experience in tackling a few aspects of child-rearing for the first time was humorous, as it was supposed to be (see: drop off lines, morning schedules, etc.).

But so far, his main conclusion is that raising kids is hard. Now, J and I only have two kiddos. My hunch is that four kids might complicate things slightly... But regardless, he makes several points that ring true to me. For one, it's hard to find a schedule or routine when you move from the corporate world to being at home. Each day brings new challenges and a different schedule; it's hard to find routine in the world of kids. You have to have a lot of self discipline and really think about how you want to structure your day. I'm still working on that...

But I particularly enjoyed his thoughts on his household at end of the day. He'd never really understood why, when he called his wife during the evening hours (when he was still at work), she was never as nice to him as he expected. Now that he's doing the nighttime routine, he's figured out that the process of winding down a household for the day is not easy. One wrong move (see: kiddo temper tantrum, lost stuffed animal, one lengthy phone call, etc.) can throw the whole mechanism off. And if you throw everything off, bedtime comes later in the evening, and you lose some of the very limited time that you have to yourself.

Nothing so far has been a "novel concept" to any even slightly involved parent. But it is interesting to get the perspective of a formerly-uninvolved parent who is figuring out just how hard child rearing really is. There are many nights, after the tumult has died down and our house finally relaxes into quiet, where I think of the things I could have done differently. The yelling I did, my impatience with the kids, better ways to handle situations. Hell, there are days where I just try to get through the hour after school and before dinner without any conflict. Ha ha. Hello, pipe dream.

None of this is easy, none of it is "a breeze," but I guess it's not supposed to be. It's good to be reminded of that every now and then, if for no other reason than to gain a little perspective.