So, I have an ongoing conversation with a friend about the difference (if there is any) between happiness and joy. For some reason, I can't seem to let this one go. Probably the lawyer in me just likes having everything neatly defined - that's how we make our living, after all! Lots and lots AND LOTS of words. Heh, you'd think I'd be pretty decent at my job, considering how many words I use here...
But I digress. One of the things I talked about in an old post was trying to remember how to find the joy in life. Sometimes the mundane details of life are so overwhelming that I forget to look for it. I forget that kind of emotion exists and I get lost in low level boredom and tedium. Perhaps not surprisingly, I've been finding a bit more joy in life as I've been looking for it more. But when it comes to describing that emotion, I have a hard time knowing what words to use. I do, however, have a memory that is my definition of that word.
One night back in high school, my group of friends decided to go ice skating. No, none of us was very good, but everyone was up for going, so we trekked out to the local skating rink, strapped on some skates, and proceeded to make fools of ourselves. At some point in the evening, I ended up skating around the rink holding hands with two guy friends of mine. Holding one hand was my best friend at the time, a guy I talked to for hours nearly every night. He was also the person on whom I had had a hugemongous crush but had been trying to get over for a long time because he just wasn't interested. I had finally just about succeeded in getting over it around that time. Holding my other hand was the guy I was about to start dating. There was definitely some bantering going on between us, but nothing serious yet.
The three of us stumbled around the rink, laughing hysterically and nearly killing each other multiple times as we tripped over the awkward blades. At some point, this feeling of incredible joy came over me. I was finally free from the annoying crush, I was hanging out with my best friends in the world, and everything - everything - was perfect. There were no unpleasant undercurrents, no tension, just a great night out with some really good friends. There was not one thing I would have changed, had I been given that power, and I just felt incredible. I felt like I could fly, as cliche as that sounds. It is one of my absolute favorite memories, and I'm not sure why it has stuck with me for so many years, but that is my definition of joy. That is the emotion I think of when I look for the joy in my life. I can't imagine 18 year olds have the corner on that market...
1 comment:
I looked up joy, happiness and content (ed/ment) in my big, big, unabridged dictionary awhile back. Not much help, there. The definitions of each use some form of the definition of (or the words themselves) the others.
Joy had the most entries...used the most concepts in the definition. I think Messers Mirriam and Webster had trouble with it, too.
Your story makes me wonder if joy is less something you can specifically identify than it is the absence of things you can. Those rare occasions when all of the things that bug you stop for a little while and, like you said, you wouldn't want anything different from the way it is.
-David
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