A Good Day

Yesterday, the kiddos and I spent most of the day together while J was at work.  Days like yesterday remind me of how far we've come in the child rearing years.  The kiddos and I joined a friend of mine and his kiddos at the big cheesy mouse place yesterday afternoon, and it was actually sorta fun.  It was the first time I'd been there in a while, and there's been a lot of growing up going on lately - and maybe not just on their parts.

For starters, as soon as I handed out the tokens, B disappeared.  And I guess I'd expected it, because I didn't feel the urge to chase him immediately and make sure he was ok.  This is what they are supposed to do, right?  And it was ok that I didn't keep him in my sights the whole time, or even know where he was most of the time.  Not only that, though, the girl got the point where even she was fine wandering around by herself.  I kept a little closer tabs on her, just because she's younger, but they pretty much entertained themselves, with an occasional air hockey game against mom thrown in (I won, in case you're wondering).  I know it's a fairly safe place for kids, but it's hard to get over that urge to know where your kids are every second, to make sure they are ok and know that nothing bad is happening.  They've gotten a little older, and I guess I am getting more comfortable with their rapidly developing independence. 

Two years ago, this outing would have been something I would have avoided if at all possible, and it would have left me completely exhausted, irritable, and ready to go straight home and throw everyone in bed, including me (you've gone to bed at 4 in the afternoon, right?).  It would have been an afternoon of me carrying the girl around and chasing after the boy, who wouldn't be quite old enough to play everything he wanted to play and who would be prone to temper tantrums because of it.  I would have been concerned when either of them got out of my sight for longer than 5 seconds, and the word "fun" would have not been part of that outing.  It would have been stressful, annoying, and I would have lost my temper myriad times before I gave up.  I would have stalked out to the car with two exhausted (and most likely screaming) kids, and we all would have gone home and collapsed.  I would have missed and/or avoided any activities that came later in the day, and my energy would have been zapped.

But yesterday?  Yesterday was - dare I say it - fun.  The kiddos played and amused themselves gathering as many tickets as possible,  didn't need me around for every game they played, and I think enjoyed a little independence.  My friend and I held down a table and chatted, and the kiddos checked in regularly for more tokens, or a hug, or a drink, or a bite of pizza, then buzzed off to whatever game they had their minds set on next.  We didn't have anywhere we needed to be yesterday, there was nothing we needed to do, so I guess we were all able to relax a little and enjoy the afternoon.  I know I tend to keep us on the go a little too much, and I worry that it wears on the kids after a while.  If it stresses me out, I'm guessing it stresses them out too, so I need to remember to build days like that into our schedule.

After the kiddos had blown through more tokens than I thought possible and used up their wads of tickets on the cheap-ass plastic toys, we headed out to local park (again, two years ago this would not have happened).  We got there as the sun was going down and the cold was setting in, so we didn't stay very long, but the kids still had plenty of energy to run around and play.  I watched them buzz around the playground, yelling and screaming, and pushed my girl on the swingset as the darkness grew around us.  The sky had all the sharp reds and oranges of the cold December sunsets that I remember from childhood, and the smell of wood smoke was in the air.  It was a very peaceful and relaxing evening, even if it was a bit on the chilly side.  I tried to remind myself, once again, that every now and then, I need to slow down and chuck my to-do list and just enjoy the day.  It was a good day.