Negative Nancy

Today was a frustrating day.  Nothing in particular happened, but it was all around just one of those demoralizing days.

I've been trying to take this week off from work, but of course that's not happening.  There's too much going on at work, which is not a big surprise, but still disappointing.  B is out of school, and I can't bring myself to send him to daycare during his break from school if I can help it.  He's been looking forward to two weeks off since the first few days of school.  If B doesn't go to daycare (aftercare, whatever), A sure as hell isn't going to go.  So today they were home all day, while I still had some work stuff going on in the background.  That meant that we couldn't really leave the house for any length of time until later in the afternoon.  It also meant that my attention was constantly divided and I wasn't able to really give 100% to any activity going on.   That's a recipe for a bad day.

There was lots of bickering (them), lots of begging (mostly me), and lots of threatening (only half me) throughout the day.  We had plans to make Christmas cookies this afternoon with some friends, and by the time we got over to their house, I was about to pull my hair out.  Fortunately, work stress let up about the time we got there, the kiddos were out of the house with other kids to play with, and things calmed down for a while.  We all needed the change of pace.

I try hard to keep a balance in my life, but I really wanted this week to focus on the kids and to take care of some non-work projects that have been outstanding for a long time.  It's not working out how I wanted it to, and I'm irritated, impatient, and I feel like I'm not doing anything well.  I'm annoyed that I haven't been able to stay on a consistent exercise routine (hello, paging self discipline?), and I'm just feeling out of sorts all around.  Harrumph. 

Fortunately, J took care of the kiddos after dinner tonight and I was able to hit the community center for a 5 mile run.  I ran it harder than necessary, but by the last mile, I'd finally gotten rid of some of the stress.  Still, I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow.  I'm sure having some of those Christmas cookies around will help a little, anyway...